“okay scrubs, i need you for a mission,” Error Sans said gravely. Mr. Red and his partners, the Yellow Kid and the Human Duck, were squirming around in their seats. “this is a very important mission, and if you fail it i’ll have to cut your salaries in half.” The trio huddled together, wondering what their Chaotic Neutral boss had in store for them. “you need to get me an order.” “Oh, so can we write it down?” said the Human Duck. “a-yup,” Error Sans responded. “i would like a quad burger with a sprinkling of himalayan salt, smoked paprika, and micro-greens.” “OK, so it’s a quad then,” deduced Mr. Red. “no, i’m not finished. i would like my burger with cheese, but not just any cheese will do. can i get aged gouda? and yes, it is pronounced ‘how-da’, not ‘goo-da’-” “GET ON WITH IT!” said the many people that were waiting in line.
Meanwhile, Freddy Fazbear was nervous about the ferris wheel. He had never gone on one before, and he was scared of heights. “Don’t be such a pussy,” exclaimed Foxy, “get on the fucking ride.” Freddy nervously went up to the pod and slowly closed the door. Freddy started screaming all the way to the top, to which he screamed louder. Unfortunately, a shark storm hit the amusement pier, and blew the Ferris wheel so hard that it spun relatively faster. Freddy started to screech bloody murder as hammerheads and tiger sharks flew past him, once in a while stopping to puke. Then, the unthinkable happened. Freddy shat himself in fear and confusion as he held onto the pod for dear life.
“But Orville’s in our way!” the Human Duck quacked. “ignore him. he is irr-elephant to our mission.” joked Error Sans, which made everyone sigh and whine at his shitty attempt at humor. Withered Bonnie pulled off his ears and washed them thoroughly with bleach. As the group brought back their master’s order, he promoted them. “mr. red, you will be agent ketchup. yellow kid, you’re agent mustard. and you, duck, will be known as agent relish.” “Why are we named after condiments, Mr. Sans?” Agent Mustard questioned. “because you’re the ones who’ll bring me fast food so i’ll instagram it and put it in my blog.”
The shark storm was mildly inconvenient for most riders, but it made Freddy’s experience a fucking nightmare. He huddled up into a fetal position, shitting more and more. At one point a leopard shark flew into Freddy’s face, which caused him to barf. “OK, I’m done,” said Foxy as he leapt off the carrier. By the time Freddy was free of the Ferris Wheel’s grasp, he shat out his entire breakfast and vomited out the contents of his lunch. “I’m never doing that again,” said Freddy, only for Error Sans and his Condiment Cronies instagramming and snapchatting the whole thing for the internet to see. Yes, Freddy became the laughingstock of the internet for a while, until Behind The Meme and Pewdiepie reviewed his videos and he quickly became normie material.