The microwave beep has destroyed my life. I am addicted to it more than any other drug.I stay up all night pressing the 30 second button, waiting to hear the pleasant, soft ring of the microwave beep. My wife, a black woman, filed for divorce 2 months ago and got custody of the kids. I was charged with failure to appear in court because I was too busy listening to the microwave beep. I have no job. I get my money from welfare. I stay in a 1 star hotel, with no furniture and no bed.

The only thing I need in my life is the microwave beep. I love the microwave beep.