Do you not love the minions? Everyone loves the minions. Bob, Stuart, Kevin and Dave the Minion are like my best friends. When my grandma was dying of cancer, just barely managed to live through, finally got it to start going into remission, and then had a stroke which paralyzed the entire left side of her body, Kevin saw that I was sad and he gave me a lollipop. I love the minions. They’ve always been there for me when times get tough.

When my cat died after 18 and a half long years, Stuart came to the toilet funeral and gave me a balloon. He said “C’est toi nuno pas banana!”

And suddenly everything was clear. I think about those words every day. They mean the world to me. Without the minions, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I gaze up at their yellow faces. 19 years it took me to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath those bright yellow tater tots. O cruel needless misunderstanding O stubborn, self-willed exile fam the loving Gru! Two banana scented tears trickle down the sides of my nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle is finished. I have won the victory over myself. I love the Minions.