Mulder outpizzas the hut (part 1)

It was like most other days at the FBI headquarters. Again, a promisingly suspicious X Files case turned out to be a regular, but well manufactured homicide. Again, Scully bitched about it, remarking how not evrything must be part of a worldwide cinspiracy or some paranormal shit. And again, CSM tried in vain to close the department.

“What a fucking delusional”, mumbled Mulder as he entered his apartament. Again, he fed the fishes, put on some music and started to read a book.

But suddenly, a deep, unnerving rumble disturbed the atmosphere.

His stomach was reclaiming food, and it wanted that asap.

Mulder hates to cook on days like these, so he picked up a bunch of menu listings from direct-to-home fast food and the telephone. What will he order tonight?

Sushi? Nah, he hates raw fish. Tacos? If he wanted to pass the rest of the nigth at the toilet, sure. So he opted for some sweet, delicious pizza. He had two choices: Domino’s, or Pizza Hut.

You have to know that mulder hates Pizza hut with all of his heart. The murky, brownish “mozzarella cheese” strata, the disgusting tomato sauce, farciments to make a horse throw up… also, a childhood trauma about a quite promiscuous male staff member in one of their restaurants, but that story is irrelevant, despite worthy of another story.

So he obviously choose Domino’s.

In less than 30 minutes, Mulder got his succulent two Capricciosa pizzas, for free. Nice.
But what wasn’t nice was how the pizza guy’s looked. He seemed quite… dead inside. Weird, and obviously exciting for him.

Mulder sat on the couch and started to munch on the delicious italian cuisine he just got. But he almost got to the half of his firt one, when he noticed something odd.
The pizzas, white, good smelling and invitating before, had now turned to disgusting piece of crap, not even worthy of being called “pizza” at all.

The transmutation was instantaneous, also changing the taste of those meals. Spitting the last bite he took, terrified, Mulder took distances from that evilish food.
But then, the realization. Somehow, he was not only tempted, but tricked, deceived on an almost physical level.

Those weren’t Domino’s pizzas…

But Pizza hut’s disgusting excuse of italian cuisine.

Mulder was full with rage, scared but furious. How did this happen? It was terrible, devastating!

Could have Pizza Hut extended his control over Domino’s, and potentially every other pizzeria in washington?

It wasn’t a worldwide alien complot, sure. The life treathening menace of a mysterious mutant, neither. But it wasn’t less important than those fos sure. A pizza market monopolium, brougth on by such nasty perceptional tricks would have spelled doom to the pizzeria industry on all of Washington, D.C.

And so, Mulder knew what to do the very next day. Only he and Scully could save the situation.

(To be continued)