I have a disorder that makes me produce too much sperm. This sperm is moved into a cyst at the end of each testicle. I decided on a whim to participate in no nut November. I after day 10 I realized that my testicle had the largest cyst I have ever had. It preceded to grow until two nights ago at 2 AM it burst and I thought I would do what I normally do and just take some ibuprofen. It did not work and today my balls were the size of golf balls. I preceded to go to the ER where I had to explain that my nuts were swollen to a female doctor who was very attractive. They then took my to the ultra sound where they stuck a vibrating wand on my tender swollen nuts(very painful). They have a rule at the hospital that one woman can not give an ultra sound on a mans balls so they sent two nurses in there to see me pain shrunken penis and all. I cried due to the pain in front of pretty women. They eventually discharged me but right now I am high on percocet and thought this would make someone laugh.

TL;DR Didn’t jerk off balls infected cried in hospital.