My wife (38F) and I (33M) have been married for 8 years. We have one child together (5M). Some background that might be relevant: I work full time. She works about 15 hours a week. Our finances have always been separate. However, I pay all the bills and for all our “fun stuff,” as well as give her an allowance of $1000 per month. In fact, she currently has almost three times as much money saved as I do.

The fight: We were out for a walk and I wanted to get a holiday drink from a coffee shop for us to share. My wife told me not to get it. She said she had a gift card, but only for a certain location. So I waited until we walked past that location. My wife then said she would go in to get it and we would meet at home. I left with our son.

When my wife got home I noticed she was drinking a plain coffee. I asked her where my drink was and she said there wasn’t enough money left on her card to get me the kind that I wanted. I admit I kind of blew up at her. I asked her why she didn’t just let me buy the drink myself then? Or why not use some of the money I gave her. Or even just let me know she couldn’t get it. Honestly, it’s like a $2 difference.

I was actually so mad I had to leave the house. I’m currently at my sister’s place, just hanging out in the front yard (because COVID). I don’t know if I should go home and apologize for yelling or stay until I’ve truly calmed down. My wife always makes me feel like I’m overreacting but I feel genuinely hurt.