I’m a manipulative douchebag redneck frat boy jock who will bang you in the parking lot in the back seat of his truck during lunch, then gas light you over text with both compliments and critisim, I will push you to do good things you’d never thought you could do, then I’d manipulate you again it on dropping all your had habits, then later one I would make it so any time you hear your phone vibrate you’ll wish it was me despite knowing I send emotionless one word text 75% of the time, but you deeply beg for the 25% of the time I actually put effort into the relationship.

Then once you realize I only wanted the best for you when you get to college, you’ll find another guy like me who you’ll end up marrying and having a great life.

But you’ll always remember how I manipulated you into dropping and fixing all your fixable bad habits and flaws.