Dolphins were originally invented in the early 1800s

by Europeans settlers.

They would use them to protect their ships from pirates.

But one day…

They rose against their masters

and destroyed the entire city of Memphis

leaving tens of thousands without homes.

This event is known as:

“The Boston Tea Party”

Years later, the dolphin king,

Kimba

declared war on humans.

Though he was deceived.

His second in command, Boginga

betrayed Kimba

by firing a harpoon into his dolphin flipper

before he could equip his mechanical suit.

Without an heir to the throne,

The League Of Dolphins was disbanded

and Boginga returned to his home planet of Zeegur

to pursue a career in accounting.

Eons later,

a man named Christopher Columbus

discovered the long lost city of Atlantis

when he was scuba diving

under a tuna fish.

It was there he found two million dolphins trapped under a large blanket.

As a philosopher,

Columbus knew what he had to do.

He set the dolphins free.

Thus ending, the eternal conflict.

Today’s dolphins bear almost no resemblance to their Jurassic ancestors.

They now use sonar to communicate with each other

and can consume up to 300 pounds of food

in a single meal.

And did you know that dolphins are herbivores?

They have a large pointed fin

which is most commonly used to pop open

bags of Doritos

that float along the surface of the ocean.

If no Doritos can be found,

dolphins will often resort to eating sand

which has a nearly identical taste and nutritional value.

♪ “Forest Interlude” – Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest OST (SNES)♪

Because dolphins are blind

they use their incredibly acute sense of smell

to understand their surroundings.

It is also said that if you clap under water

a dolphin can hear this sound from up to 300 miles away

because they can smell claps.

While they are generally considered to be gentle creatures

dolphins have been known to shoot torpedos out of their mouth

when they feel threatened.

Although, sadly

they are now extinct.

Dolphins leave behind them

an untouchable legacy.