picks up phone*

Erm, who is this?

*chatter from based individual on the other end of the line*

Why yes, I DO love Animal Crossing!

*voice from other end of line begins to sound clearer* “Yeah, you won’t believe it! He turned himself INTO A PICKLE!” *sips iced tea from whiskey glass* but anyhow, What if, and make sure you’re sitting down for this, what if Isabelle alcohol? AND, she friend with Doom Xir?! UH YEAH, BAM!”

*hangs up Tom Nook themed phone*

God, that epic joke has made me thirsty for some delicious Reddit Karma™!

*opens reddit*

*sees drunk Isabelle befriending doom xer while epically bro fisting*

Me: “ah, finally! Some good fucking food!” (Quoting the most epic meme I can remember at the time).

*clicks upvote*

Oh. My. God. That was… E P I C ! ! ! !

*rubs belly*

Ho ho ho, oh yes quite funny teehee

*tugs on cock*

O-oh, hold on! That feels good!

*tugs harder*

hnnngh, yeah… REALLY good… heh…

*begins thrusting vigorously into cupped hand*.

Humina humina humina!! YEOWZERS! *eyes bulge and tongue falls out of mouth* AWOOGA AWOOGA BVVVVVVVV

*cums into hand, rubs all over isabelle amiibo*

Ahhhh nyessss. Stupendous! Simply put!

*notices beeping* Huh…? Hold on *scratches balding head* what is that ruckus?

*notices beeping and flashing lights from my söyometer*

Nobody:
Literally nobody:
Not a single soul:
Racist biggoted 4channelers: “THIS JOKE IS SO LE NOT FUNNY”
Me: erm, yeah, ok. Racist and sexist much? This is simply not okay!! *reports to janitorial authorities (with haste!)*

*sips on iced tea in whiskey glass* heh, yeah, that’ll show xim. Now, lets see what else is on.

*clicks remote*

HOLY SHI-*bleep* IS THAT MARIO EATING A MUSHROOM WHILE GETTING HIGH?!

*camera slowly pans out and fades to black*