What is up it’s your boy airsoftfatty here with another life story. This one’s about the time I almost lost my penis. That would be two times I’ve almost lost my penis. We’re talking about the first time. Now, I might give you a little back story before we get to the main story. I had gone out shopping and wanted to do something special for my girlfriend. So I picked up a little bit a lube. Well not lube but um… This warming cream that you put on your girlfriend and she warms up real fast. Like she’s fired up ready to go like. \*snaps\* Like that. That was a weak snap. \*snaps\* \*snaps\* \*snaps\* There we go. She got fired up real fast. So I’m sitting there playing with her and she just starts ya’ know! Goin’ at it. So I got up ‘cuz we’re about to go at it and we start goin’ at it. Well about not even three minutes into it. A couple of thrusts into it she goes, “Babe I mean… you’re small but it’s gettin’ bigger.” and I was like, “No it hasn’t gotten any bigger” and she goes, “Yes it is, it’s growing inside me!” I pull it out and my dick is three times the size it usually is. Now that’s good for me, because let me tell ya’ my d- is only the size of my pinky. So this shit was good! This baby was natural. But uh it fuckin’ hurt. It burned. So I was like, “Shitttttttttt!!!” Took the condom off. I run down the stairs bare ass naked. My aunt was down here and I didn’t know that. So she got a face full of my junk. I scream, “Mommmmmmmmmm!!! Help!!” She goes, “What’s wrong?” I said, “Look below my waist!!!” She goes, “Oh shit that’s bad. Go up and get dressed.” So I go get dressed. She gets dressed and we plow our way out of the driveway and make it to the hospital. Doctor comes out says, “We don’t know what it is in the ‘Fire and Ice’ condom but you’re allergic to it.” I freaked out and I was like, “Well, what’s going to happen to my penis?” He goes, “We got one of two options. First one is we amputate it.” And I was like, “Fuck that.” Second option was that I had to apply cream and lubricant to it to keep it moist for I believe four hours I had to keep it like moist. Whatever they had me do I can’t remember all of it, but it was something like that they said put some cream on and make sure it keeps it on there. It was like applying lotion basically. But only they wanted me to continuously apply it. Anyhow now that I’ve explained that. It took a couple hours for it to finally go down and stop being so swollen. You know what the worst part is? Almost lost my penis. Came home. Now it’s late into the evening. People are fuckin’ tired… and I got horny. So I look at my girlfriend and I go, “Would you like to go around just normal condoms and uh… make up for that crappy instance that happened.” She goes, “Sure!” We start fuckin’! And again I put on the Fire and Ice condom! My dumb ass grabbed grabbed the wrong one and well it swole up again. But at least we know what to do! My fuckin’ god! Almost lost my dick that day! Seriously! I wouldn’t be able to live without my dick. I don’t care how small it is! It’s still my dick! This has been story time with fatty. Almost lost my penis number one. I’ll tell the second one tomorrow.