So this mornin when I was tryna have a bowl of oatmeal I had some muscle spasms and dropped the mf bowl right after I got it out of the microwave. The moment the bowl made impact with the kitchen floor, BOOM, oatmeal everywhere. It was like a feckin’ bomb of oatmeal went off, and I frantically tried to clean it up before the spasms got worse. I then tried to salvage the remains of the oatmeal that was still in the bowl, poured some mf granola in the oatmeal because granola n’ oatmeal is 👌. The moment I was so close to the living room table to sit down, BAM another mf muscle spasm and not only was there oatmeal everywhere BUT NOW WE GOT MF ***GRANOLA*** in the mix. Imagine a grenade but instead of metal and boom it’s a mass of oatmeal and granola shrapnel, so I fuckin lost my shit again because of the spasms and I jus wanted to have some mf oatmeal. Dad then made me another bowl of oatmeal, and so I decided to be cautious by holdin that mf bowl close to the ground so there wouldn’t be an oatmeal explosion rivaling Fat Man on Nagasaki. I almost flung a spoon out of my hand from another spasm but thank God I clung on to that mf for dear life, because I’d be DAMNED if I didn’t get to have a mornin bowl of oatmeal n’ granola before work.