“It felt like its own game,” he typed, wheezing with exertion and sweating profusely. After taking a moment to catch his breath, he clicked the save button, committing his braindead consoomer comment to the thread.

F5. F5. F5.

“MOM! THEY’RE DOWNBOOPING ME AGAIN!!!” he roared, squinting to make out the numbers on his ‘vintage’ 2003 CRT monitor. There was a time when mommy would have swooped in to check on him, but years of shattered expectations had taken their toll. Love had turned to frustration and then disgust. She was barely responsive now, pumping out tendies and emptying shit buckets in a near-catatonic state.

“MMOOOOOMMMMM! THEY’RE DOWNBOOPING ME ‘CAUSE I SAID ODYSSEY WAS GOOD! THEY LAUGHED AND SAID IT WAS A BULLSHIT MMO WITH A THIN VANEER OF ASSCREED AND THAT THE SERIES HAD BEEN GOING DOWN HIS SINCE BLACK FL-,” his words cut off abruptly in a coughing fit.

He’d really done it this time. Doctor Shekelstein warned him not to exert himself during his last housecall seven years previous. As the redditfag gasped for air and his face started to turn blue, he reached out for his keyboard in a desperate attempt to send one last message to the world: