Dolphins were originally invented in the early 1800s
by Europeans settlers.
They would use them to protect their ships from pirates.
But one day…
They rose against their masters
and destroyed the entire city of Memphis
leaving tens of thousands without homes.
This event is known as:
“The Boston Tea Party”
Years later, the dolphin king,
Kimba
declared war on humans.
Though he was deceived.
His second in command, Boginga
betrayed Kimba
by firing a harpoon into his dolphin flipper
before he could equip his mechanical suit.
Without an heir to the throne,
The League Of Dolphins was disbanded
and Boginga returned to his home planet of Zeegur
to pursue a career in accounting.
Eons later,
a man named Christopher Columbus
discovered the long lost city of Atlantis
when he was scuba diving
under a tuna fish.
It was there he found two million dolphins trapped under a large blanket.
As a philosopher,
Columbus knew what he had to do.
He set the dolphins free.
Thus ending, the eternal conflict.
Today’s dolphins bear almost no resemblance to their Jurassic ancestors.
They now use sonar to communicate with each other
and can consume up to 300 pounds of food
in a single meal.
And did you know that dolphins are herbivores?
They have a large pointed fin
which is most commonly used to pop open
bags of Doritos
that float along the surface of the ocean.
If no Doritos can be found,
dolphins will often resort to eating sand
which has a nearly identical taste and nutritional value.
♪ “Forest Interlude” – Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest OST (SNES)♪
Because dolphins are blind
they use their incredibly acute sense of smell
to understand their surroundings.
It is also said that if you clap under water
a dolphin can hear this sound from up to 300 miles away
because they can smell claps.
While they are generally considered to be gentle creatures
dolphins have been known to shoot torpedos out of their mouth
when they feel threatened.
Although, sadly
they are now extinct.
Dolphins leave behind them
an untouchable legacy.