finish putting up my “We Don’t Call 911″ sign

fall off ladder on my way down and break my leg

my wife runs out in a panic

she looks up at the sign and looks back at me

she knows what I must do and hands me my pistol

I’m sorry Angela

wife runs back inside with tears rolling down her face

tell my children to go in the house

”We don’t dial 911” I sob as I put the barrel in my mouth

God Bless America