”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the mother whose child fell into the enclosure and accept that she was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Harambe!”
At this moment, a brave, heroic, pro-gorilla dank meme champion who had created 1500
dank memes and understood the necessity of enclosure fences and fully supported all decisions made by Harambe stood up and held up a traquilizer gun.
”How useful is this gun, pinhead?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite chimpishly and smugly replied “Not at all, you stupid banana-swiller”
”Wrong. It could have easily rescued the child without hurting Harambe. If the sniper was necessary, as you say…than the child should have been dead as soon as Harambe reached him”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Cinncinati Zoo employee handbook. He stormed out of the room crying those zookeeper crocodile tears. The same tears zookeepers cry for the “patrons” (who today live in such luxury that most can easily climb over fences) when they jealously try to tear life from innocent gorillas. There is no doubt that at this point our professor wished he had pulled himself up by his foot fur and become more than a sophist zookeeper. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had used all the bullets on helpless gorillas!
The students applauded and all boycotted the Cincinnati Zoo that day and accepted Harambe as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Tranquilizer Guns” flew into the room and perched atop the Sniper Rifle and shed a tear on the chalk. Dank memes were read several times, and Harambe himself showed up and created higher fences for all the zoos in the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the chimp plague AIDS and was tossed into the crocodile pit for all eternity.
Semper Fi. p.s. prosecute the mother for negligence