Are acorns intelligent? *Excellent question.*

I’ve been in on a little secret for a *long* time now, and I’m thinking it’s high time I go public with it.

In short? Yes, acorns are sentient. They possess thoughts, feelings and even opinions.
But are acorns *intelligent*? Well, some of them, but not *all* of them.

I remember stopping into a bar in Shanghai during my Botanical Tour of Asia several years back, and I sat at the counter and bantered with an exquisite Emory Oak acorn.
*Marvelous!* Oh, the things we discussed!

As I stared down at him with wide eyes, he recounted the implications laid out by Thoreau in *Walden*. He reflected on Darwinism. We discussed Julian Huxley, and even his brother, Aldous.
But make no mistake, *not all acorns are created equal.*

I’ve spoken with other acorns, and they didn’t seem to possess that same sort of intellectual gift. Moreover, I have had the opportunity to engage with hundreds of acorns in lab settings, and only a select few can even *speak*. In acorns, speech is an incredibly rare anomaly.
My colleagues and I did the math, and the speech pattern trait can only be found in 0.00034% of the world’s acorns.