Entering as a white male, I would have an obvious advantage over my opponents, physically and mentally. The laughable Koreans, whom are usually 1.7m at best, would not only fear me, but love me, as the notorious Machiavellian quote goes. Now that I have established my strength to the weak beta participants, I would use my skills in the games. I have abnormal physical and mental strength, cat-like reflexes, a huge height advantage, a cold and manipulative personality, great decision making skills and combat experience. Despite my lack of trusting skills, which may come in handy in such circumstances, I would make friends and inform my fellow participants of the deep metaphorical meaning of the squid games, which presents the flaws of capitalism and what danger people would be willing to put themselves through in a dystopian, capitalistic society. This will instigate a revolution within squid game in which the players successfully revolt against the VIPs. I will share the money with all of the participants and they will accept me as the president of the USGSR (Union of Squid Game Socialist Republics). My catchphrase will be “I am the president of the USGSR (Union of Squid Game Socialist Republics). Yolo BAZINGA!”.


During Red Light, Green Light, I would use my aforementioned cat-like reflexes to stop whenever the doll says “Red Light”. In addition, my stoicism and my expect the unexpected mentality will aid me in keeping my cool, as you may notice, I am a Sigma Male Lone Wolf. Using my intelligence, I will also be able to find and exploit loop holes that the silly Korean guards never thought about, such as standing behind other players to avoid being detected. If the doll detects me, I will use my muscles as a natural bulletproof vest, which will put the guards in a state of shock as they realise who is the boss. Upon finding out about my natural immunity to the weak Korean bullets, I will strut very sigmaly to the end as the guards watch in shock.


In the Dalgona challenge, which normal people call the honeycomb challenge, I would be able to use my intelligence and common sense, something the Koreans in the show didn’t have, to figure out the challenge. However, I would not choose the easiest shape, I would choose the hardest shape as I know the guards have underestimated me and my science-like composure (There is no God, get over it). Picking the hardest shape there is as a means of asserting my Sigma Male Attitude and completing it within seconds will help me maintain my reputation, which I accumulated from the Red Light, Green Light game.


The Tug of War game is easy. Initially, despite not knowing the challenge, I would gather a team of straight, physically capable males. For all the triggered feminists just remember: In this world, it’s kill or be killed, and if you can’t kill, good luck. When I find out about the game, my confidence, which was already thriving, doubles, but I maintain my stoic, emotionless expression. We are up against a very diverse team consisting of both males and females. The game begins and we win in a matter of seconds, securing my reputation moreso.


In the marbles challenge, many weak Korean participants would partner with a friend or even a family member. Not me. Acknowledging the unpredictability of the previous games, I would figure out that we are against each other. Therefore, I decide to pick the weakest participant left, most likely a cripple. When deciding on a marble game to play, I pick a game based on intelligence, something I have in large quantity. I am triumphant in the marbles game by a landslide and my likelihood of winning becomes more and more apparent to the remaining participants.


During the Glass Stepping Stone game, when offered the vests, I use my impressive decision-making skills to predict the game and choose a latter vest. When the game is announced, once again, I hold back a confident grin as the participants who chose a former vest begin to panic. Victory is well-nigh in my reach as the obscure Koreans sacrifice themselves to allow me to get to the end. It was all meant to be, I was destined to win. It’s only natural. I entered the Squid Game billions of won in debt, whatever won is. Only won I care about is winning, which, again, is becoming more evident. To nobody’s surprise, I make it to the end of the challenge.


The final game, the titular Squid Game. Whilst I am not familiar with Squid Game because I played Call of Duty instead, I feel assured, as my stunning intelligence enables me to simultaneously learn the basics and master a game. My opponent wins the coin flip which decides who will be offense and who will be defense, which I found completely unacceptable and demanded that the coin was flipped again. I never lose. After winning the coin flip, I choose offense, as I have great experience with offending people. I travel across the squid in the fashion the rules suggested incautiously, due to my Sigma Male confidence. My opponent cannot push me and I am deemed victorious. I am rewarded with billions and billions of won. Despite the reward money probably being worthless in normal currency, I would consider this experience to be worth it.