I believe that you, the person seeing this post, are the right person to spend 125$ of your cold, hard-earned cash so that I can browse Reddit with a ‘premium’ upgrade.

Why me? I am an absolute specimen of human nature. I am the most valid candidate to receive your money, for doing absolutely nothing but hitting buttons on a piece of glass.

If I get this “ternion award,” I will cure cancer and save all of the homeless people and animals. It will also give me the opportunity to solve world hunger and create world peace.

Thank you, that is all.