Now friends, some people will tell you that this mandatory tooth-brushing law is about the secret dental police kicking down your door at 3 AM to make sure you brushed. Friends, it is not. Some will mention the dental reeducation centers or the preventative dental maintenance detention facilities. It is not about any of these things. It is not about the government issued toothpaste containing an addictive yet harmless substance. No friends, it is not even about…DNA gene splicing to create a race of winged monkeys acting as toothfaires. Friends, what this mandatory tooth-bushing law is really about is strong teeth, for strong America….I am a tyrant you should trust, and you should let me run your life…because I do know what is best for you.