There is no better way to ruin a perfectly fine burger, salad, or sandwich than to sprinkle these red shit-bombs all over it. and no, I can’t “pIcK eM OuT” because the shitty tomato jizz is already soaked into the food. Regardless, I shouldn’t even have to pick them out because I clearly said “hold the tomatoes” but the dipshit waiter didn’t write that down! Even worse are the people at parties who are breaking the fucking sound barrier to force feed you their “home-grown tomatoes without all those chemicals”. Shut the fuck up Chelsea, your overripe, bug infested tomatoes taste worse than Heinz’s juicy red nutsack. I don’t want your hippie tomatoes. Another archetype of the tomato crusader are the people who go “HuRR yOu lIkE kEtCHuP sO wHy nOT TOmaToES” like shut the fuck up. You like cake but I don’t see you eating raw eggs or snorting flour. You’re a fucking idiot. And my parents are the worst offenders. I didn’t like tomatoes when I was six, and I damn sure don’t like them now! Shut the fuck up about “mY tAStEbUdS wILL MaTuRe”. Tomatoes are objectively fucking nasty and I would honestly rather suck off Jabba the Hutt than ever see one of these shit-bombs again!