I am devastated. I have just learned my long life friend, who was beside me when i was born, has been killed in a high speed car accident. He was going 140kmph in town when an old woman walked out in front of him on a zebra crossing. He swerved and drove through a supermarket, killing 16 people, 3 of the 16 were children. His vehicle stopped when he collided with a stack of methane tanks piled in one of the isles which caused a mass explosion. This explosion killed a further 60 people because it caused the building to cave in from under him.

I found out when i was having breakfast with my beautiful wife whom i have vigorous sex with every night. I have to constantly buy her new clothes because i rip them off every night to fuck her, and when i do fuck her, i almost rip that bitch in half with my 7 inch long, 4 inch wide cock. And then i blow the biggest load all over our bedside table. I have been cumming all over this bedside table consistently for about 3 months, creating a new layer of sperm every night. It is now a beautiful glaze that is about 3 centimetres thick. The only time i touch it is to clean the maggots off of it when it gets warm. My wife plans to give it to her ex as a birthday present. She cheated on him with me and caused him to become an alcoholic. Hopefully this tips him over the edge and he kills himself. Anyway, im just rambling on! I am going to go and have sex with my beautiful wife. Goodbye.