Growing up in West Virginia, hunting was just part of my life. I didn’t live in some forgotten corner of Appalachia by any means, but the hills in Monongahela national forest are just far enough out in the country that you can wander into the trees and steep valleys and forget that an international airport is less than ten miles away. Even in such a relatively tamed place, the anticipation one feels in late autumn— when the mornings just begin to arrive with a dusting of frost— for the arrival of deer season is palpable.

Every summer me and my father pack up or backpacks with food, tents, and our hunting equipment and get ready for a 2 day hike out into the middle of the woods. Although our favorite hunting spot is nearly 12 miles into the forest, it’s a lot more pleasant than you would imagine. Once we got where we wanted, we found a nice, old oak tree to set up under. It overlooked a bend in a creek that showed plenty of signs of activity over the past few weeks of scouting. As far as I was concerned, it was almost a guarantee something would come my way.

Fast forward about 4 hours, nothing. Not a single trace of life to be seen. At this point, it was starting to get dark, so we reluctantly set up our tents and got ready for bed. As we were about to get into our tents, we noticed a faint, orange glow in the otherwise pitch black forest. We decided that we just had to investigate what we saw, so we slipped our shoes on and grabbed our rifles.

As we got closer to the light, we noticed that it was a fire pit– and not just that– we saw 2 silhouettes, both humanoid. We had no idea why anyone else would ever be out this far into the woods, especially this late at night. An uneasy feeling grew in the pit of my stomach as i looked at my father.

He whispered that we should get closer while making sure to be as quiet as possible. We were both equally shocked and astonished at what we saw… a man, and a chimp. A 5’3″ chimp.

Out of pure terror and shock i stepped back onto a twig, making a loud **SNAP**. Both of their heads snap onto us, then quickly back at each other. What happened next had me questioning reality, as the chimp starts cooking a hot dog over the fire pit and the man starts chanting phrases such as, “who’s out here having dinner” and “who’s toes are those”, each one making the chimp angrier and angrier.

Both of us were in some sort of trance, not able to believe what we were seeing. The man then said, “is it dinner time”, “I THINK IT IS”– with that final chant, the monkey was screaming so loud it nearly shattered my fathers water bottle. The chimp then began violently pulsating and screaming, and then it happened– the chimp began sprinting at me at speeds I’ve never seen a monkey run at before.

Without time to raise our guns, we instantly started running in the other direction at fast as we could through the thick forest, but it was no use. We had only got about 30 feet away when i hear a deafening crunch followed by a scream– he had snapped my dads spine.

That bought me enough time to lose him, the whole time tears were streaming down my cheeks. Once i was far enough away, my knees gave out and i collapsed. I had passed out.

The next thing i know i woke up in a hospital bed, and had a hernia from sprinting so fast. Apparently a hiker had seen me and called in a rescue helicopter. I didn’t even try to explain what happened, as it sounded way too outrageous to be true, so i had to make up a story about my father slipping and hitting a rock– or something to that extent, i cant even remember.

I still don’t know why that monkey and that man were having a cookout that night. I do know that i sure as hell am never going back.