There’s not enough morbin in this world. Too little, in fact. Last week, I went to my Grandpa’s funeral, and there was just too little morbin. My Grandpa died because he didn’t morb enough, and I shouted that out. He deserved to die, because he just didn’t morb.

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All of the World’s problems are due to too little morbin. The Titanic sunk because nobody was morbin’ enough. World War 1 and 2 happened because people morbed too little and took it out on those who were morbin. If we were all morbin more, we would be able to surf on tsunamis, run to the moon and back, and we’ll all get bitches. We need to morb. Join the Morbin. Don’t let the world suffer for your lack of Morbin.