(Taken from r/NewGreentexts)

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Basically, he will not shut the fuck up about cock, not kidding. he will bring them up into EVERY conversation REGARDLESS of the topic. the weirdest part is he is not gay, also he is currently married, he has never kissed a man, which is why his OBSESSION with cock perplexes me to such a degree

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Examples (verbatim):

\*We’re smoking cigars together, this particular cigar happens to be smaller but i still get queasy\*

\>Me: hey dad, i think i’ve had enough, this is getting too strong

\>Him: Whaatt!!?? We swallowed some big black dicks in the past and now you can’t handle this little cock?

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\*Walking out of the theater after watching a bad movie\*

\>Him, UNPROMPTED: “Man, that movie was terrible, it’s like a flaccid cock, you couldn’t get it up with viagra!”

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\*I’m about to go buy groceries\*

\>Him: Hey son, can you get some of that black cock to suck on? (He only drinks Pepsi)

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\*Finishing some chores\*

\>Him: Man! That was harder than sucking a dick this big! (He then shows me the size of the metaphorical dick with his hands to illustrate exactly how big the dick is. He does this almost every time)

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I wish I was fucking joking. Please help me