commas actually punctuation in general are actually a scam invented by the government to sell punctuation keys like on keyboards trust me i should know my great uncle well actually he isnt my uncle he was a really close friend of my grandmother but not in a sexual way at least I hope not thatd be gross anyways he is a farmer and doesnt use keyboards at all so the government cant reach him through conventional means so they implant subliminal messages into the ridges of his cabbages which is why every quarter-moon he pays me $15 to go stab every head of cabbage in the field while he taints the local water supply with LSD to prevent the cabbages from being aware enough to report back to the government about his illegal cabbage business