My dad regularly cooks really hellish dishes.
Well, here’s roughly an average recipe, because there’s a lot of variations.
Yesterday’s soup is taken out of the fridge, but it’s not heated up, just heating it is not about my dad. He takes this soup, dumps it into a frying pan and begins to stir fry. Adds a large amount of chopped onions, garlic, black and red pepper FLOUR! for viscosity, tomato paste on top. All that is left on heat until smoke comes out. Then it is removed from the stove and carried to the balcony to cool. Then dad brings it back in and, after generously pouring mayonnaise on it, starts eating. He eats that slop right out of the frying pan with such fervor that neighbors can hear the spoon scratching the bottom of the frying pan. While eating, he’s always repeating “oh fuck!” in half-whisper. Beads of sweat even appear on his brow. Sometimes he kindly offers to share this dish with me, but I always refuse. Do I even need to mention what wild fart-fest happens afterwards? The stench is so bad the wallpaper peels off in places!