I WANT TO BANG THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE SO GODDAMM BAD

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang Thomas the Tank Engine so goddamn bad. I can’t stand it anymore. Every time I see Thomas & Friends on TV I get a massive erection. I’ve seen literally every rule 34 post there is of him online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with the little blue tank engine. I’m sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should’ve been busted inside of Thomas’s tight black smokestack. I want him to have my mutant human/train babies.

Fuck, my fucking mom caught me on the railroad tracks again. I spray-painted a smiley face onto a locomotive and went to fucking town. She hasn’t said a word to me in 10 hours and I’m worried she’s gonna take away my TV. I might not ever get to see Thomas again.