It was an ordinary day in Iwatodai dorm, and Mitsuru had just got done punching Akihiko in the dick (which is also pretty ordinary around here). Luckily, Shinji was there to see the whole thing. However, it was not the Shinji we all know and love, but Shinji Ikari of famous YouTube show Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Abridged Series – 4Kidz Edition. Meanwhile, Aigis broke into Emo Protag’s room after he juuuuust set up his new set of tea cups on the floor. She crunched all of them with her stubby robot legs, which honestly the word stubby turned Minato on so he broke his streak of 1 week of NOT jacking it. He came all over Aigis and she licked it all off like Scooby Doo. It was cool. She even used the voice and everything.

Minato was about to cum so hard, that the walls would appear as if they were smeared in vaseline and whip cream pies…BUT UNFORTUNATELY, Minato slipped on a discarded banana peel that was on his floor, and slammed dick first into a nearby Best Buy! It was painful too, because he had a sensitive emo cock. Minato got up, dusted himself off, then proceeded to pull out his diary, which he keeps on him at all times in order to record all of his personal feelings.

“Dear Diary, today was SOOOOOOO lame, There I was, minding my own business, when Aigis came in and trashed my teacups! It was horrible… I don’t know if I can go on like this…”


Aigis stood next to Minato while Minato ignored her and continued writing. “…Not only did she RUIN my streak of NOT JACKING IT, but because I forgot to clean up my butthole banana, I ended up slipping on the peel and FLEW THREE BLOCKS DICK FIRST INTO A LOCAL BEST BUY!!!!! My life is suffering… However, I must press on…. Love you <3 Diary”

“It appears your boner is still as hard as ever, do you wish for me to recommence fellatio Senpai?” Asked Aigis in the most innocent sin way possible. Minato got really angry and banished Aigis to the Shadow Realm, to which Aigis said, “That wasn’t very nice!” She said while logging onto Steam and loading up Bad Rats. She played it for 0.2 seconds and got bored so she played a good game like… idk what was it? I think it was either Dark Souls or Fable, can’t remember.

Anyway, while the toaster was distracted, Minako decided to become canon by quite literally, forcing herself into this fanfiction. Also, for some reason, this variation on the protag, happened to come from Quebec…So, she’s Canadian. Also, huge fucking rack. Like…WOW. I gave up a week of fapping when shit like this is happening? I’d rather get my rocks off…but enough about my dick, this is the story about other people’s dicks. But seriously though. HUGE. RACK. Like, if I had to describe them, I’d say they were THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS big.

There was a great big flash and Minako went to prison for flashing Ken, whom was underage. So there was a girl with huge tits or whatever and she walked into Shinji’s room and stole his iPad and downloaded Treasure Cruise. She spent all of Shinji’s iTunes money on Gems and all she really got was a couple Smokers, a Captain Kid and a Fucking Shanks. A Fucking Shanks what the fuck? It took me… how long have I had this game? Hold up, lemme check… uhh… 140 days. Wait, really? I’ve been playing it that long wtf? Anyways, yeah I call bullshit. I didn’t get Fucking Shanks until a week ago. Fuck you huge tit girl, fuck you. Oh and Shinji got mad because all his iTunes cash was gone.

“WITHOUT MY ITUNES MONEY, HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO COREYMARIOFAN SONGS?” Said Shinji Ikari.
Then, without warning, Minako shot Shinji in the spleen with a .09 caliber pistol, grabbed whatever innards came out of him, and sold his organs on the black market so that she could afford her expensive pheromone cafe addiction. Akihiko happened to be in the cafe when this happened. However, he didn’t care and continued eating his beef bowl while writing fanfictions about the wacky adventures of his OC character Sait0ma. Touching his shoulder was the ghost of Shinji and Beetlejuice criticising his writing each sentence.

“Um, why is he only Favoriting Akairiot’s art? Shouldn’t you be giving other artist’s a chan-” Said Shinji but Akihiko cut him off by shouting extremely loudly by saying these exact words. “NO FUCK YOU I LIKE THE AKAIRIOT”. So then the-entire-furry-fandom from Tumblr showed up and livestreamed a video game that distracted Shinji and Beetlejuice long enough for Akihiko to write Saitama into the story!

“FUCK YOU ALL!” Shouted Saitama, who clearly didn’t want to be in this story.

“Too bad, I don’t care if he doesn’t want to be in the story or not. I mean, he should be GLAD that we put him in this story. Have you read the last story we subjected him to? Let me answer that for you, no you haven’t, and you never will! It had to do with sloppy joes, and Captain Buggy fucking Elijah Wood. It’s really great if you can set aside the time to read it, but i’m not gay though…Anyway, fuck you, Saitama. I couldn’t give less of a shit of your opinion on this.” -Dictated, not read; OTFree.

During all of this, Gon grabbed the film camera and pointed it away from our cast towards Killua standing on a skateboard down the street. He did a kickflip, which caused the live studio audience to cheer.

“Good work Killua!” said Gon.

“Thanks Gon!” Killua replied.

After that, Killua went back to school while Gon moved the camera back to its original position.

While Gon moved the camera away from Iwatodai Station’s Beef Bowl Shop, Saitama leveled the entire fucking disrict, killing Shinji (The gay one) and punched his way out of the fanfiction so now there’s a huge chunk of it missing so we’re gonna have to work with whatever was remaining.

“…COLLAR!” Said OTFree. “You know what, we probably should have done that awhile ago haha.” Said Ken, holding the corpse of Chucky Finster. “lol toooo truuuuu tooooootruuuuuuuuuuuu” said Akihiko.

Anyway, so now the REAL story can begin! Akihiko, dead Chucky, OTFree, Ken and yes, even Collar, all walked to their FAVORITE Best Buy! You know the one, the one covered in Minato semen? Yeah, so they decided it’d be hilarious if they were to try and trip the store for old time’s sake. I guess you can say it was a “throwback”…THROW BACK. Because…Fuck, this joke sucks. Denly, write the next sentence!

“Ahem… Just give me a moment…”
*shuffles through note cards*
*moves the mic closer to his face*
*sits on the stool*
*lights up a cigarette*
*checks note cards one more time*
*looks into the crowd of patrons in the bar*
“Come my lady. Come, come, my lady. Be my butterfly. Sugar. Baby.”
The crowd silently shows their raging approval by snapping their fingers and nodding slightly toward Denly as he leaves the stage.

So Saitama forgot his wallet and accidentally flung a huge rock at Collar out of pent up anger from being forced into these fanfics every time. The thought of taking someone as innocent sin as Collar didn’t really phase Saitama because he didn’t notice what he had done, so no one really learned anything from this. Anyways, Aigis beat Dark Souls on New Game +7 and was set free from the shadow realm to see that Minako was dead and only people alive were Akihiko, Ken, OTFree and not Collar. So Aigis just logged onto Facebook and liked all the photo’s that Hex Maniac posted, that very page helped Aigis understand understand understand understand the concept the concept concept concept of good humor.

…But I know what you’re thinking, but WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MINATO’S DIARY!? Well, we thought of that! And the only way to catch it, is on the next exciting episode of Untitled Google Document Z! AHAHAHAHA, but yeah, no refunds. I’m tired, let’s agree to never go a week without fapping again. That shit’s still bothering me…I hope no one has paid attention long enough to get to this section.


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Ass & Titties

Written by Denly1990 on his iPad

P.S: Aigis married Tommy Dickles.