2 years ago I graduated college with a horrible GPA, zero job prospects, and no direction in life. University had been a slow spiral downward: I breezed through high school due to my natural aptitude, but the more my college courses required hard work, the more I struggled. All my friends had great jobs/relationships and were moving to cities to start their adult lives, while I moving back into my mom’s basement.

Besides working some part-time shifts, all I did was smoke, play video games, and watch anime. I hated myself. I was hyper-aware of my flaws but seemingly could never bring myself to actually change my behavior. It’s a really bad place to be in for a long period of time. Your self-hatred grows and reinforces the idea that you’re always going to be this way. I had let down everyone who ever expected anything from me. I stopped talking with my university friends because I was too embarrassed to answer the question “so what have you been up to?”

After about a year of that, I watched an anime called “Your Lie in April”. It centers on a musician who had lost direction in life and who meets a girl that rekindles his passions. It really resonated with me for obvious reasons, especially the quote “sometimes, your time just stops, huh?” During the ending sequence, I started crying and continued to do so long after it ended. I hadn’t cried in probably years, I had just felt empty. This was an ugly, ugly cry. I realized it was more about my frustration with my life than the show and just let it happen. Why couldn’t I change? I screwed up such a great opportunity in my studies. Now I was far behind people my age.

In that moment, I had the realization that it was highly unlikely anyone was going save me. The only person who could and would save me was me. I got off my bed, sat at my desk, and just started writing out everything that frustrated me.

I want to say I figured out answers to everything that night, but it actually took a few weeks of constant written self-reflection. I quit smoking and figured out a long-term career goal for myself that I was actually excited to pursue. I think an important part of this was not telling anyone my plans. This wasn’t for validation, it was for me. I wasn’t going to “try” and do anything, I was DOING it and that was that.

Now, I have a 99+ percentile score on the test to enter law school and just passed 3rd-round interviews for a paralegal position at a pretty prestigious law firm. In a few years, I’m going to attend a top 14 law school and graduate summa cum laude. I know I’m going to do it and nothing’s going to stop me.

I think the most important thing is to get a little angry. You can’t change anything you did in the past, but you have unlimited power to decide your future. Your having non-optimal circumstances right now will only make your achievements more impressive. Figure out each step it’ll take to get there and crush each one. Each time you feel yourself slipping, remember that nothing hurts as much as staying in the same place. FUCK that. Be somebody. Make something that matters. Tell the you that just wants to watch YouTube videos all day that it’s time for them to sit down and shut up for a while.

That’s my spiel, hope it helps friend.