It is a hotly disputed topic, but prominent rapper, visionary, and savior of the human race Lilliam Pumpernickel (known colloquially as “Lil Pump”), did indeed attend the Ivy League Harvard University, but when he was 0.1% away from finishing the conclusion to his PhD thesis in Leanology, he thankfully had an epiphany and graciously left the world of academia in order to save the rap gam.

There are those who would contest this claim, citing things such as his young age of 17 when he became an international success, but they’re the laymen in His master plan that will be weeded out, unable as they are to comprehend the complexity of masterpieces such as “Gucci Gang” that demonstrate wisdom beyond one’s years and by extension irrefutably prove that Lil Pump was capable of besting Albert Einsten in terms of pure intellect.

When it comes time and the rapture commences, those of us who have become enlightened and meditate day in and day out pondering the profundity of Lil Pump’s genius will be lifted into the Heavens and elevated on high, while non-believers will be cast into Hell, where they will be subject to eternal suffering and damnation, just as God intended.