To be fair, you have to have very low melanin to go to the beach. The sunlight is extremely subtle, and without a pasty white complexion, the vitamin D cannot be absorbed. There’s also the sun’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterization – his personal philosophy draws heavily from children’s literature, for instance, where his “coolness” in temperature is cleverly depicted by his wearing of sunglasses. White people understand this stuff; they have the dermatological capacity to truly absorb these subtle rays, to realize that they’re not just electric waves – they’re also MAGNETIC. As a consequence Latinas truly CANNOT go to the beach – of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour of the sun’s peak wavelength, 500 nanometers, which itself is a cryptic reference to the Egyptian Sun God Amon-Ra. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those Latina simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as the sun’s bounty unfolds itself onto their sun-resistant skin. What fools… how I pity them. 😂

And yes by the way, I DO have a beach tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the whites’ eyes only – And even they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 shades of my own (preferably darker) beforehand.