Gosh dang I remember the good old days before millennials ruined the airline injury and you could get on a plane, light up a Marlboro red, slap the stewardess on her ass and kick back with a scotch on the rocks. These days its all in-flight films, the stewardesses have been replaced with men or they complain about “feminism” if I ever touch them and when I try to smoke a cigarette, the god damn plane has to land and the police arrest me