Title says it all. I’m a 20-something virgin. I was too scared to YOLO my own money so I “borrowed” £70 from my mum and told her I needed it for “car repairs”.

Instead I YOLO’ed it on a long TSLA position (CFDs) and will now use my money to hire a high end escort called “Charlotte” for 1 hour (£300) to take my virginity in a £150 per night penthouse suite at a local 5 star.

This is pre booked for September 10 and as proof I will pay her extra (£50) to write “WSB” on her boobs and post it on September 11 (no disrespect intended).

Thank you guys for inspiring me to YOLO. You made this possible.